Never too early

     Thank heavens to betsy the weather is getting warmer, because it's time for me to get out and about with the camera! I've officially used that photo up there for every single post related to guidance.

     I wanted to share the ways children can help us awaken.  They are so close to the Source, there is no "stuff" between them and Spirit/God/Consciousness/Goddess/however you like to call that magnificent grace inside each of us.

    Following a fabulously soul-nourishing workshop with Tama Kieves titled Unleashing Your Calling: Create the Work and Life you Love, I began to commit to getting back in touch with my guiding inner voice and intuition.  On a side note, if you ever have a chance to attend one of Tama's workshops, run, don't walk.  For a few minutes every morning, I've been asking a question and sitting quietly with myself.

     This morning Miss Diva D happened to be awake with me so I invited her to join me.  Here's how it went:

Me: OK D, what we do is ask a question, like...
D: Can I watch a movie?
Me: Perfect.  OK, so we ask a question like "Can I watch a movie?" and then we close our eyes and listen for our inner voice. [Seriously, do you think I'm ruining this child for life or what?]  What does your inner voice say?
D: I love you!

That's all folks.  Your inner voice loves you.  From the mouths of babes.

Do you believe in miracles?

A short story...

I ordered a bathing suit online.  I've never weighed more (or cared less - another post in itself... body freedom!)

I ordered a bathing suit online, and they had 1 size left so I went for it.

I ordered the one size, online, and had enough discounts and coupons to reduce a $100 bathing suit to ...

$5.00

It arrived today and fit perfectly and looked great.

That, my friends, is something to marvel at!

It's BIG! It's SOOO BIG!

   All this marrow business... did I ever tell you how it came about?  Pull up a chair... or a gardening kneeler.. HEE HEE!  (I am so GIDDY about gardening analogies right now... stay tuned for a couple weeks and you'll know why!)

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms.” -Henry David Thoreau

     I'll never forget being hit between the eyes with "DELIBERATELY" and "SUCK OUT ALL THE MARROW OF LIFE" when I first heard that quotation.   How powerfully "And not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived" resonated in my very own marrow and stayed there through thick and thin, creating an overarching umbrella of protection.  Under the umbrella is forgiveness, not sweating the small stuff, being present, living respectfully on the earth... all these small acts that add up to deliberate, meaningful living.  

     That's what brought me to this blog... from trying to find new uses for yogurt containers rather than filling up landfills, to struggling through postpartum depression while trying to keep everything in perspective, to parenting mindfully, to living our best lives... this is all the marrow.  Dancing with the dishes.  Candlelit shower.  Electric Connections.

    It doesn't feel big enough.  Still all around me is petty drama, he-said she-saids, hyper amounts of energy all focused on .... dare I say... meaningless things? That's my judgement, and it's judge-y, but I mean it lovingly because gorgeous creatures and humans on the earth, I want you to feel the freedom I feel!  The glory of living in marrow, of bringing glitter and love and light to other people...

    With that, I'm moving BIG!  In the next few months, I'm preparing to launch a fabulous website aimed at nurturing one another... AT WORK! 

   There, I said it.  So much time... we are at work all the time, including our work as mommies and daddies, and friends and wives and husbands and daughters... and as secretaries and CEOs and waitresses and landscapers.... I had the BIG BANG of ideas about work and nurturing... so keep tuned to me... beautiful things are about to GROW (HEE HEE... more gardening analogies..)

Ba-GOCK!!

    That's how my little idea feels.  Like a gorgeous tiny portaluca, trapped beside a giant immovable mountain of wood AKA "how things are done".  I have this fun idea, something involving changing the world from our various positions of leadership, something about connecting as humans for the eight to fifteen hours a day we spend in the work place, something about helping each other bloom and tending to our co workers like precious flowers... I have this seriously smart web designer lady who also is just so fun to bounce ideas off of, and she doesn't believe it yet but she's going to make my dreams a reality.  That is what I have been sitting on, incubating, taking blog time off and twitter time off to meditate, sketch, and nurture this little germ of an idea... feeding it, and looking at how so many roads may have led to this point.  Hmmmmm.

   

Electric Connection

     One thing I love about my child's Montessori school is that lessons are often presented in silence.  At parents' night, the teachers demonstrated sample lessons to us, such as showing the children how to manipulate the infamous Montessori sandpaper tracing letters.  The humming energy and focus in the room, from a bunch of adults who already know their letters, I imagine, was palpable.  Silence is truly powerful.
     Last night my daughter discovered Travel Scrabble, AKA My First Choke Hazard.  Apparently tiny tile letters mesmerize two year olds.  As I tried to interact with her, she gently shushed me because she was doing "her work" ("works" are what the Montessori activities are called).  I sat beside her, both of us in silence, and an electric connection built.  Although I've often felt the "tingle" that comes when you're in the presence of another human being and decide to acknowledge their higher consciousness, the connection between my daughter and I felt like an electric hum, almost visibly twined between us.
     In the contented silence between us, I watched as she seemed to literally become a real kid before my eyes.  Busy, intent, doing her "work," needing nothing from me but my complete presence.
    Mamas and Daddies, try it! Spend 10 minutes in complete silence with your child, being present, completely utterly present, and see what builds!

The Big Pink Meltdown

    Granted, it was a risky move.  Take overtired toddler to Off 5th, the Saks outlet, during a snowstorm - but we all needed attire for The Best Engagement Party Ever coming up next weekend.  Now or never.  Do or die.  Armed with plenty of toddler apps in the iPhones, off we went.  Things started out great.  She was a doll face, helping mommy get in and out of the dresses.  She loved "fashion show".

    Then, she saw it.  The tulle-iest, pinkest, fluffiest, ballerina-twirly dress you can imagine, topped with pink frosted cupcake dreams and then covered in vomit of valentine's day.  It's the kind of dress I've avoided having in her closet since birth.  The dress that stands for everything I've tried to counter.  Unfortunately, my child has been brainwashed by sources that shall remain unnamed (GRANDMA!!!!) and well, she currently believes she is a "Boo-Tee-Fool Pincess".

    So, no harm no foul, we try the dress on.  She. won't. take. it. off.  She's hysterical.  My husband can hear her in the men's department.  This child has never taken to a "lovey" or a "blankie" but she is crying for this dress that Armani himself could probably hear her in the ivory fashion tower.  I finally managed to bribe her out of it by letting her carry it, when we were promptly physically assaulted by a dressing room guard who may have actually never seen a 2 year old before.  She made the error of grabbing it out of D's hand so the precious merchandise wouldn't drag on the floor.  Ever serene, I said "We're buying it!  Give it back, quick!" and snatched it out of her hand and swept D. up to carry her out of there.

     It was too late.  The dress had been threatened, the child was hysterical, the people browsing through racks of $1,421.00 dresses (I know because I accidentally tried one on) were trying to kill us with their eyes, and my knight in shining armor appeared.  He gathered all the mess out of my arms (2 puffy coats, 6 dresses, hat, scarf...) and in a past life, here's what would have gone down:

ME: "Where the f were you? Couldn't you hear her screaming? Why didn't you come sooner?"
HIM: "I was trying to find you"
ME: "Just take this crap and pay and I'll meet you at the car.  This is horrible. I can't believe I can't go anywhere.  Blah blahblahblalalalala.
Hurt feelings, blame, ire, pouting, and probably me grounding myself for a week with no ice cream would have ensured as well as at least 5 hours of silent treatment.

     This time, standing there with a hysterical toddler, surrounded by the Beautiful (thin)(rich) People and fully feeling like That Family, and That Frumpy Mom Who Would Never Wear That D&G Dress, I surrendered.  I looked at my husband and said, "I just don't know what to do right now".  And in that shockingly calm moment of realizing that on this journey of motherhood, I don't have the answers - I don't even have 1/5th of the answers - my mother's intuition took over.  I knew to whisper calmly in her ear, to explain to her all the things that were going to happen between now and when we went to the register.  The crisis was averted, somehow it worked out, and I certainly can't claim it was pretty, that people didn't stare, and that I didn't want to sink into a hole in the designer ground.  But that admission, "I just don't know what to do right now" was liberation.  Freedom.  Complete permission to try something, anything, to see the struggling little human in my arms and work through our Great Big Pink Mess together.

    I hope in my next overwhelming parenting/career/marriage moment, when I feel that complete panic arising, I'll be able to surrender again, which gives me complete control in the situation.  It's a magic white flag to wave!

I'm a Phenomenal Woman!!

    In liu of today's musings, I want to share with you a wonderful lady, Valerie, Proprietress of the Etsy Shop Discerning Chi-Chi.  The Shop is a visual delight, featuring "Jewelry and fiber accessories for the spirited, spiritual and elegantly feminine discerning chi-chi, for every day wear and special occasions. A range of designs to suit your mood and style - healing/inspirational gemstone for mind body and spirit, vintage inspired, shabby chic/country cottage, bohemian, rustic, dressy, whimsical, girly & more."  One delightful feature of her shop is healing jewelry infused with positive energies via Valerie's Reiki skills; I have my eye on this beauty, a wrap bracelet, featuring a goddess charm with the spiral of life symbol (HINT HINT).


    Valerie is also the writer/designer of one of my favorite cyber-space "happy places," Discerning Chi-Chi.  She recently posted recruits for a feature on "Phenomenal Women," based around the 1978 poem by Maya Angelou.  At first I felt hesitant to respond, after all, my whole blog revolves around being ordinary. But this poem resonates so strongly with me, that I was compelled to raise my hand and say "Yes! I qualify!"  


    Today, the end result of our collaboration is featured on Valerie's beautiful blog.  I am humbly honored to be among the ranks of her Phenomenal Women collection, and I urge you to absorb the majesty of the poem, and to raise your hand up too.  Because on our journeys, caring for others, bringing meaning to our workplaces, tending to our family members and friends, smiling at strangers in the supermarkets, holding the hands of those who need comfort... we are Phenomenal Women.  In our struggles, our peace, our core beings, we are Phenomenal.


Thanks, Valerie, for bringing this powerful piece into my life.




Phenomenal Woman
-Maya Angelou


Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.