"MONDAY is the day of giving"

     "On Monday, we agree as parents to do the following things with our children: 1. Invite them to give one thing to someone else in the family.  2. Inspire them to receive graciously.  3. Share a brief ritual of gratitude for life's gifts".  -Deepak Chopra, _The Seven Spiritual Laws for Parents_

     This is a little book I picked up while pregnant and meant of course to implement RIGHT AWAY.  I would meditate with my newborn.  I would be the model of gracious "please" and "thank you" and talk to her about gratitude even if she didn't understand.  I would, simply because I needed to be the model, suddenly become all of the spiritual things I read and talk about.  I would, because I was leading by example, be in the now, connected to the source, intensely present, and of course, always calm and radiant.

    One thing I love about a spiritual journey, versus participating in an organized religion, is the framework.  A journey is framed in the unknown.  There isn't a destination, there aren't any answers, only inquiry, seeking, and growth and transformation.  Ideally, this is the case in organized religion too, and for theology students it might be true, but organized religion has always seemed to me to have all the answers, finite, the end, period.  So I'm not beating myself over the head for failing to instantly transform into Spiritual Parent of the Month, because I can share with my daughter the process of seeking, of inquiry.  Of discovering that Monday is the day of Giving.

     Today with my daughter, I will model "please" and "thank you" with meaning.  That is how I will inspire her to receive graciously.  I will start to use the word "share" and model sharing (yum, Baby Puffs for Mommy!).  And on our walk today, I will talk about how lucky we are to live someplace we can be with nature.

     Share with me! How will you inspire your children to give today?  I would love to know other parents' ideas for kids of all ages!

The new "me time"

It used to look like this: a great novel, a sushi restaurant. Phone off. Ordering the usual with a slight variation each time: 2 pc salmon, 2pc tuna, 2 pc yellowtail, all no wasabi, all sushi. Avocado roll. Miso soup. Tea. Give or take the special sushi of the day. A woman alone at a restaurant, the best of company a good book. A leisurely dinner alone.

Or it looked like a hot cup of coffee, a porch, hours upon hours of magazines, books, nailpolish. I don’t even think I knew it was “me time” because it was just my life.

Now if I have a bowel movement for longer than 2 minutes, I call it me time. My shower is a beautiful luxury, and if I can actually get soap into all the right places, it’s a spa day. When there is a rare moment like this, my husband and baby asleep at the same time, I almost don’t know what to do. There are so many things I want to do.. to write, to archive her movies, to read, to sit and listen to the ocean with a cup of (cold, now) coffee.

Why don’t I do them? More often than not if I have the internet I just mindlessly browse websites. Fear. I don’t mind being interrupted from facebook or online browsing for bargains, which I don’t even want or need. But to be interrupted from the meatier endeavors… to be in a thought and hear her cry, or see him open his eyes and ask “What are you up to?” in the kindest of ways… I can barely stand to be a girl, interrupted. I avoid the marrow of life during these quiet moments so I can avoid the brutal involuntary tack like a windsurfer on violent waves. Where there was girl.. well, I can always look back and wave to her.

Maybe creating a transition of my own – a breath, a quick meditative transitioning mantra, something that makes the involuntary switch from woman to mommy seem more of my choosing. Something like “Your self is not in this endeavor, it is in the presence you bring to your next task”.

Your self is not in this endeavor, it is in the presence you bring to your next task.

Then I don’t have to try to turn and wave.